"Whatevs. I bought this outfit first, hooker." "Your mouth wouldn't be so big if you could see your ass from here, skank! AND you gots cankles!" (Reposted from author Laurie Notaro's Facebook)

Laurie Notaro has been one of my favorite authors forever and ever and ever. Her essays make me alternately scream with laughter and cringe at the cringeworthiness that resides in us all, but which most of us try so hard to hide. I cannot recommend her books highly enough. And her FB is funny as hell, too.