In an attempt to make itself even more incompatible with the modern world and its needs, the Vatican has lumped clerical sexual abuse and Attempted Ordination of Women together under the shortlist of Gravest Crimes Possible, and has made them both punishable by excommunication. Naturally, regarding the former, I’m sure we all agree that it’s about damn time. But attempted ordination of women? Really? Just shows that the church that only in the last 400 years decided that women have souls hasn’t progressed much from that point. Wow, admitting a woman to the priesthood is JUST AS BAD AS MOLESTING CHILDREN! Holy fucking shit.

According to a 2007 article, NotMyPope pledged to appoint more women to “top Vatican jobs”–hey, even the Vatican recognizes the need for good Supervising Chambermaids and Lunch Ladies and maybe a few Top Laundresses. Anyone who can get those white robes *really* white is worth their weight in gold—or at least minimum wage.

Why any woman would remain Catholic, at this point, when the Prince of the Church has basically waved a big sign in front of the world declaring that treating women as other than second-class citizens is a Grave Crime On the Level of Child Molestation is a mystery to me. But something tells me that if every woman in the church left tomorrow, no one would miss us.

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